Meet the laziest journalists in America: Channel One News reporters
Another day off for the tirelessly Channel One News team.
From Jim Metrock:
I have written before about the laziness of Channel One reporters: Dec. 18, 2003 – The Lazy News Network, Apr. 8, 2007 – Laziest Journalist in America?, May 5, 2008 – The Lazy News Channel .
How lazy are the reporters at Channel One News?
This company brags about being young people’s source for news. From a Channel One press release: The Company’s primary offering, Channel One News, is a daily news program … to help students, teachers and parents interpret the news of the day and spark important conversation.
That sounds great, but Channel One News isn’t really “daily.” They take every weekend off. No joke. They could easily have web newscasts that update the news for young people, but they don’t. That would be too expensive, plus… they are lazy. Christmas and New Year holidays? Channel One News employees drop their “daily” news show for the entire two weeks. Thanksgiving? Channel One reporters are in the studio taping their show on Tuesday, then they dash out the building not be seen again until that Sunday to tape another show.
Legitimate new organizations don’t take off holiday, but Channel One News loves shutting down for any holiday.
Below is an email that a teacher sent me on this weekend. She detests Channel One as most teachers do. She thought this was funny. Channel One wrote that “we will be off celebrating Presidents Day” Wow, they really believe in Presidents Day at Channel One. Evidently to honor all presidents, the company’s employees have selflessly agreed not provide any news today on Channel One News. (BTW – A lot of schools don’t take Presidents Day off, especially this year as schools make up days lost due to weather.)
And of course Channel One News provides no newscast during the summer holidays. Yes, Channel One doesn’t care to “spark important conversations” or to provide any news program during the long summer months. Reason: Channel One only wants to air a show when its clients – advertisers – are guaranteed an audience of young people. Channel One’s number one priority is serving its advertisers.
So, bless their hearts, Channel One News employees will have to gather enough strength to work the remainder of this week – four full days. You can do it Shelby, Maggie, and Scott. Remember the weekend is coming.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it greatly benefits students that Channel One is a lazy, youth marketing firm. That just means fewer commercials will be coming into classrooms.
