Channel one Asks Teachers To Promote Gatorade

April 20, 2003

There appears to be no one left at Channel One with any common sense. Here’s an idea that should have been rejected the moment Gatorade suggested it.

Channel One News is urging teachers to incorporate Gatorade marketing material into their curriculum. The mind reels at this stupidity. This is the work of Kent Haehl, Channel One’s Sales VP. Haehl has brought a sort of craziness to Channel One that is further endangering the company’s relationships with its remaining schools.

When a teacher goes to Channeloneteacher.com, a pop-up ad comes up that urges teachers to take advantage of a "Free Lesson Plan." This turns out to be the "Science of Sweat" a very transparent commercial effort by Gatorade to get teachers to convince children that Gatorade is better than water.

This is about turning public school teachers into UNPAID sales representatives for the Gatorade company.

Gatorade is owned by PepsiCo and they have plenty of money to do their own marketing. But these marketers realize that nothing could be better than having a child’s teacher pushing Gatorade. By making Gatorade part of the science curriculum, students would further appreciate the Gatorade brand.

These lesson plans can only get teachers in trouble. A teacher would have to be bankrupt of ideas to turn to these Channel One offerings.

If it is acceptable for a teacher to take twenty minutes of her or his class time to do work for a Channel One advertiser, then shouldn’t local companies in the school’s community ask for help from teachers to increase their sales?

Obligation would like to propose some additional lesson plans for Channel One News:

The Science of Pizza by Pizza Hut. (Pizza Hut delicious pizzas are cooked by 1.conduction, 2.convection or 3.radiation.)

The Science of Twinkies. (How are Twinkies, and other junk food advertised on Channel One News, turned into body fat?)

The Science of Deception. (When Jeff Ballabon and Jim Ritts of Channel One tell reporters something that isn’t true, notice their palms get sweaty and they don’t look people in the eye. List the physical changes that occur when a person doesn’t tell the truth?)

The Science of Violence (When a young person watches a violent movie that has been advertised on Channel One News, what happens to their blood pressure? List the ways that Channel One brings violence into the lives of those forced to watch the show.)

See for yourself:

Channel One’s Gatorade Lesson Plan #1

Think that is gutsy? Try this one:

Channel One’s Gatorade Lesson Plan #2